


There is no try

by DarkShadeless



Series: SWTOR - collection [17]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic (Video Game)
Genre: :D, Bullying, Fluff, Gen, Jaesa tries her best to be a good Master, Role Reversal, hints of sith culture, masters and their wayward padawans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2020-12-17 06:53:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21050144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkShadeless/pseuds/DarkShadeless
Summary: Jaesa has been facing criticism from the moment she chose her padawan. As much as she defended him… perhaps she was waiting for something to go wrong on some level.





	There is no try

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this instead of sleeping! ;P  
Enjoy!

Jaesa has been facing criticism from the moment she chose her padawan.

Though, if you ask her, there was little choice involved. She met him and he was _right_. From the moment she faced him across the battlefield, that bruised child with eyes the color of hellfire, she knew he didn’t belong to the one who had him in their clutches. His master didn’t waste a thought on asking that of him, ordering him to stay behind and fight a full-fledged Jedi Knight and her allies. They threw him at her and Jaesa… she looked at him and she _knew_.

The Council was more than divided over her actions. Claiming a Sith apprentice for her own was a controversial move, to say the least.

It was the first time she defied them, one and all, whether they were on her side or not.

‘We will need to debate this matter,’ Master Satele had said, gently, to pave the way for the compromise and harmony that is their Order’s very foundation and Jaesa told her ‘No.’

_With respect, masters, there is nothing to debate._

She is aware that that action has won her much scrutiny. It also gave her something much more important, illusive and fragile: It won her Yon’s trust. If only she could claim to return it as fully as it had been gifted to her. Sewlor’s frantic visit was less of a shock than it should have been.

Jaesa reaches for the Force and borrows its blessing to shore up her flagging endurance. “How much further?”

“How would I know!” Sewlor mimics her and pulls up alongside her in a bound. Stress lines her fellow knight’s face. Jaesa can relate. She isn’t the only person short a padawan. “Xerender said it was a league out,” Sewlor’s tone drops to a growl, “but he also said he was going to be back by third bell. When I get my hands on that brat…“

_If _he gets his hands on ‘that brat’. Anxiety, fear and protective anger brush past Jaesa’s sense of the Force before they are released in a tangle that leaves behind more raw tension than calm.

Tython may be their home base but it is far from _safe_.

Owing to his upbringing, Yon has a very skewed perception of safety. At his sixteen years of age he laughs in the face of dangers that test _Jaesa’s_ resolve. She hasn’t gotten to the bottom of how much of that is the blood-born necessity she suspects it is. Wherever it comes from, it makes him something of a daredevil. If he goaded his fellow padawans into an unadvisable adventure…

And that’s the least of her worries. What if he fell back into old habits?

That she is even contemplating that possibility makes Jaesa’s conscience rebel. Does she really believe that? Does she think it’s possible? How much of her confidence in her padawan is a lie?

She’s his _master_. If anyone should believe in him completely it should be her.

The edges of the ruins come into view and absolve her from dissecting her feelings on the matter, for the moment at least. “Watch out for the droids.”

The look Sewlor shoots her is best translated to ‘you don’t need to tell _me_ that’. In any other situation that would make her crack a smile. Jaesa never quite got out of the habit of mothering her padawan-brother and he appreciates it just as little as he ever has.

The yard of the expansive structure is suspiciously empty of the ancient droids she expected to see but she’s not surprised. At least they seem to be on the right track. Xerender and Yon would have had little trouble with what is out here as long as they don’t let themselves get distracted. The _inside_ of that building is another matter entirely.

What possessed them to go poking around in a Trial ground? Jaesa hadn’t even thought of that until Initiate Nys ratted them out. If she had, she would have never allowed Yon to come out here, at least not without making him swear he wouldn’t touch those doors. He _should_ know better but...

Teenagers do stupid shit sometimes, especially teenagers with a chip on their shoulder.

Jaesa has no idea how right she is, or how wrong.

Between her and Sewlor they make short work of the large stone doors that are supposed to keep out initiates and padawans that have _no business being here_. Thankfully Yon has yet to get the hang of muting his presence when he is upset. All Jaesa has to do is follow it. It’s a towering beacon, roiling with turmoil.

_Oh no._

At least they’re getting closer. Jaesa can only hope they will reach them in time for a scolding to be the worst thing that will happen to their padawans-

And then she hears it, the faint sound that threatens to freeze the breath in her lungs. The crackle of a vibroblade being brought to bear.

No. More than one.

“Are you crazy? Leave him alone!”

It takes Jaesa a precious second to place the voice. Most of her attention is preoccupied with the cramped and broken masonry flashing past her. Kira’s boy. Raan. Thank the Force someone is here to play the voice of reason, even if he should have known better than to go along with this in the first place. Yon always listens to him, even when he gets a bit carried away.

Is that why they came here? For sparring? She wouldn't allow them to use live weapons against each other and she can’t imagine Sewlor would either. Her padawan-brother’s mouth is set in a grim line.

No. He wouldn’t.

“Oh, come off it. This isn’t any of your business, Raan.”

Two steps ahead of her Sewlor slides to a halt, almost tangling himself in his robes. Jaesa runs into him in her own surprise. He has to catch her or let her send them both to the ground.

The disdain in that dismissal leaves her cold.

Raan is not so easily deterred, though. “Kriff you, Xerender. This is _over_.”

“This is over when I say it is and I say it’s not over until _that one_,” Sewlor’s padawan spits, “has proven himself. Right?”

He gains some murmured agreement. Force. What… what is going on here?

She pushes against Sewlor’s fixed hold and leans over him enough to catch a glimpse. What is waiting for her around the corner is not a sight she is prepared for.

Xerender has apparently roped Zyllix and Uldin into this excursion. At least Uldin she would have expected to have more sense. He usually does, as evidenced by the fact that he’s hanging back while his friends… Jaesa has no other words for it. They have her padawan and Raan, by extension, cornered on the other end of the hall, the door to the chamber of Trial between them. Raan looks furious.

“He doesn’t need to prove himself to anyone and if he did it wouldn’t be _you_.”

His words resonate with her. Deeply. It’s nothing she hasn’t told her padawan before, nothing he didn’t need to hear again and again.

Jaesa’s eyes stray to him, almost against her will, and on his face she finds what she already knew she would: Nothing. Yon’s expression is all but blank. That’s what usually happens when he swallows down his feelings.

“Don’t be an idiot, we all know where he came from. He says he has changed? Well, let’s put that to the test.” A confusing mishmash of envy, disgust and something Jaesa hesitates to label _hate_ is tainting Xerender’s presence. Force, she has never seen him like this. How didn't she _see_? Sewlor’s hold on her arm tightens almost to the point of pain. “Or are you going to chicken out, _Sith_?”

Outrage flashes through the Force. Raan, kind, level-headed Raan, feels angry enough to resort to violence where his aura touches upon hers.

Swords have already been drawn. Maybe he would have if Yon hadn’t taken that moment to reach out and put a restraining hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t.”

“But-“

“They’re not worth it. What would your master think?” Jaesa isn’t sure she has ever been more proud of him, or more ashamed of her own preconceptions, than in this moment.

Raan pulls a grimace but his stance relaxes somewhat. He glances at his friend. “Master Kira would think I should kick their asses,” he grumbles. He’s probably right too. Kira is a battle-axe. She has no patience for bullshit and certainly not for bullying. _Bullying_. Force.

Jaesa swallows that hard pill and fortifies herself to deal with this mess.

* * *

“Padawan… how long has this been going on?”

Yon avoids her searching look. He looks so _small_ when he does that, when he forgets to or doesn’t bother to put up a front. As much as Jaesa treasures that he lets her see him like this it breaks her heart. There’s a bloody cut on his cheek. She has her suspicions about how that got there and if Sewlor doesn’t sort out his student, by the Force, she won’t be held responsible for her actions.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Her padawan fidgets with his sleeves. The sentinels watching over the speeder pad of the encampment pretend they can’t hear them and she ignores them right back. Chances are this incident will be all over the Temple by the time they get there.

Nothing for it now and she won’t make this into a failing on her padawan’s side. He has nothing to be ashamed of. That she expected differently… she will have to meditate on that. He deserves better.

As if he can hear her dark thoughts (and maybe he does feel them, he is too astute sometimes), Yon looks up at her from under his unruly bangs. Since he stopped pinning them back they have been completely untameable. “They’re just little kids, master. What are those punks gonna do to me? They're not even allowed 'sabers yet.”

One of those ‘little kids’ is older than him but she knows all too well what he means. In some ways her student is leagues ahead of his age mates. In others…

He's learning. Too quickly, sometimes: That kind of language is proof of just how much time he has been spending soaking up Kira’s slang. Maybe Jaesa should put her foot down on that front.

On the other hand, Raan is a good boy, a better friend and he has his heart in the right place. It takes a particular sort of courage to stand up to your peers. What is a Nar Shaddaa vocabulary in the face of that?

_Force. ‘They're not even allowed 'sabers yet.’_

Jaesa gives her student a measured look. “Would you let them do what they did to you to a friend? Or one of the initiates maybe?”

Indignation flickers over Yon’s face. “Of course not!”

“Then what are you trying to tell me?”

His mouth opens and closes a few times. Jaesa can _feel_ his frustration and the uncomfortable way her point strikes home.

She reaches out to gently brush his hair out of his face. “I’m here when you need me.”

“I know.” He doesn't _quite_ duck away from her manhandling. Ah, yes. No matter what else Yon is or was, he's still a teenager. Maybe one of these days he will feel like he doesn’t have to handle everything on his own. Jaesa can wait.

In the meantime she has some soul searching to do but… they have time. Coruscant wasn’t built in a day.

“Padawan?”

“Yes, Master?”

“You should have asked for my help." Jaesa lets that sink in a little before she adds, as soft as sure, "But you handled their antagonism well. I’m very proud of you.”

He grows still, surprise and something kinder, happier, chasing the pinched frown off his face. His control slips. For a brief moment Yon's presence flares, nova-bright and beautiful. Shadows cling to him, always, but beyond them… he’s all light. Jaesa wishes others would see it as well as she can. She’ll just have to keep reminding them, as well as herself.

He will be a great knight one day.

It's her job to make sure he gets there and she will.


End file.
